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Il Duce launches the new Fiat Mark IV Killer-Mammoth Tank, replacing the Mark III which proved vulnerable to Ethiopian children throwing stones at them.
Mussolini selects the most suitable commander/driver/gunner for the new Killer-Mammoth tank.
Milton Friedman is presented with the award for Best Ideological Con-trick from the Federation of Snake Oil Salesmen by previous winner George W.M.D. Bush
…
German fans file away quietly and respectfully in Warsaw after losing 2-1 to Italy at the 2012 European Championships
“I say, I’ve got three crowns on my Imperial Scratchcard – I appear to have won something called Uganda.”
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Notre Dame 1804: “It’s just a temporary measure. We’ll be back to liberty, equality and all that stuff in no time at all…”
“OK, Billy, if God has told you it’s our Christian duty to bomb Haiphong on Christmas Day, that’s good enough for me.”
Weekly check at the Barclays CEO Bonus Room
Queues for the toilets at the 1936 Berlin Olympics were long but well-ordered.
Spiderman’s agent advised him to keep his earlier roles concealed from the public.
Richard the Lionheart: “I didn’t speak English, taxed the nation cripplingly, preferred my French territories, spent only six months ever in England, was violently anti-Semitic, slaughtered Muslims indiscriminately, murdered 2,500 hostages, and my Crusade failed – so why exactly shouldn’t I have a statue in front of Parliament?”
In its earliest days Crufts sometimes came in for criticism of the way best-in-breed was decided.
Versailles 1919: “Well, that’s European peace taken care of for the next hundred years. Now let’s sort out Palestine and the Middle East.”
A spectator at the 420 BC Olympics is refused entry for wearing Nike sandals. The official sponsor that year was Hermes Winged Wondershoes.
China 1860: “.. and finally, traffic is backed up on the Pa-Li-Kiao Bridge after a Jardine-Mathieson vehicle shed its load of opium.”
